Lily Rose
by obsessivelyfanaticgw09
Summary: River and the Doctor are struggling through their relationship after River had an…unfortunately lonely night. What kinds of problems will they have to work through? What about the little girl caught in the middle? And why is everyone asking "Who is Rose?"
1. Feb 17th 5199 8:53 pm

The sound of engines whirling made tears finally pour onto her cheeks. Overwhelmed and confused, she let them fall for a few moments before her brain kicked into gear.

She turned toward a dark corner of the cell as a door creaked the oh-so familiar sound.

_ Don't let him see the damage. _

"Hey honey I'm home!" he was in a joyful mood, dancing from the step off the TARDIS to her cell, he promptly and gladly whipped out his sonic to undo the lock.

"Come along Song before the guards catch up. Parents are home for the weekend – we've got an…all…clear…" It wasn't until then he noticed that his wife wasn't only not returning their favorite banter…she simply wasn't acknowledging him at all.

"River?" he let the barred door swing open. "River are you dead? You can't be dead I I I'm pretty sure you're not dead. Hm? Mad then? Ok. Not likely though. When you're mad it's usually cause I did something stupid and when I do something stupid you, well you usually just hit me. So what…"

Her whimper she had tried so hard to control echoed off of the cement walls.

"Oh. Sad then."

The Doctor wasn't exactly swift with comforting but he knew a bit of what to do. He sauntered slowly to his wife and began to snake his arms around her waist while kissing a place in her bushy hair. "River what's wro…" but he stopped himself when he noticed something…off…

River was holding something. A tiny mass of blankets sat in her arms. The Doctor ran his fingers across the cotton as River stood motionless and silent, biting her lips to hold back her tears and racked breaths. The Doctor's fingers met the thing wrapped in the blankets. He slowly and breathlessly walked around until he could see the small bundle in his wife's arms.

"River…" his one word held so much confused, afraid, joyful, angry…_confused_, subtext. "Is there something you want…er…to…"

"This is…this is…Lily." she mumbled softly through a throat clogged with tears, not yet looking him in the eyes.

The Doctor took her by the shoulders and backed her up a few steps so he could see them in the light and she reluctantly went along with his studies.

She watched as his face turned from a jumble of thoughts to simple happiness. A brighter shade then she'd ever seen him, just glowing in the dark room. His eyes watered and his lips twitched into a blinding grin. His cheeks flushed with warm joy and he slowly reached forward and fondled the baby's tiny fingers in his own. He was simply in such wonder and pleasure that he was struck speechless.

River couldn't take it. It hurt her too much inside. She couldn't hold it back any longer. She parted her lips and her heart broke, her hope broke, her regret broke, and her voice broke.

"She's not yours."

* * *

**Hello again readers new and old! Some of you might recognize this from Something Else, and I'm happy to say that it's a full on story now! Anyway, I'll do my best to update weekly and I hope everyone sticks around!**

**Of course we've got these two, River and Eleven, but later on we get to see some more companions and (AH JEESE) TWELVE! So I do hope you'll come back :)**

**Drop me a review :)**


	2. March 26th 2014

**Thanks to Obitez, Alice Indigo Opal, Emerald Alitrex, dancer4813, The Celtic Kid, Saskia the Head V.M.D., RiverSong14, SuperFanlol, SpiritAni, Hello-Sweetie19, I-write-fanfics-not-tragadies, a Guest, heroesofolympus63, Truebluetardis, and Mrs. X Anonymous!**

**Wow I don't think I've ever gotten that many story followers so quick before! Welcome everyone! **

**So, just FYI, the chapters in this story will go back and forth in time. You'll be able to tell when each part takes place by looking at the chapter headers. Obviously, because of weird time shifts, ten years later won't exactly be 2004 to 2014...but I'm hoping context clues will help sort that out. Years are based off of Earth Time. Make sense? No? Awesome. **

**Enjoy!**

**oh btw (this doctor is 12!)**

* * *

**March 26th 2014**

"No, flick the wrist a little more."

The young girl tried desperately, making the instrument buzz, "I think I've got it Doctor!" She struggled to flick her wrist and unlock the black test box in front of her, only to send the sonic screwdriver clinking to the ground. "UGHHHHH," she cried, stomping away from the object as it rolled across the floor.

"Now Lily, come on…"

"No it's so easy and I just can't get it! You just point and think and do a few simple movements but I JUST CAN'T GET IT!" she fell down into one of the seats facing the console. "I guess I'm just not Time Lord enough for this kind of stuff."

The Doctor looked across the way at the ten-year old. She had very long blonde hair the shade of her mothers, and River's shining green eyes, but none of her facial features. The features looked vaguely familiar, which is always something that bothered the Doctor as he watched the girl grow up, but then again…he supposes he _had _seen the girl's father's face once or twice before…

The girl looked at the Doctor back over blinking buttons and confusing levers as he ran his fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair and let out a sigh. "Anyone…_basically_ anyone can operate simple things on a sonic device." He chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood. "You'll get it…you're just getting –"

"Yeah you keep saying that but – "

Their voices overlapped and the Doctor had to raise his voice to be heard, "WORKED UP OVER NOTHING."

Just then River burst through the TARDIS door, a purse slung in the crook of her elbow and papers falling out of folders tucked under her arm. It still bothered the Doctor how…_domestic…_she was looking. "Oh…um…Doctor?"

"Mum I cannot get the sonic to work and even Grandmum could work it and I just can't and…" the rest of her daughter's words were muffled as she ran over to her and buried her tears in her shirt.

River struggled to pat the sobbing child on the back as she threw a concerned look toward the Doctor.

"I keep telling her she'll get it eventually. Nothing wrong with a little bit of practice." The Doctor stood and sauntered to the console where he threw a lever for the TARDIS to take off.

River smiled and rubbed her daughter's back. "Now now darling, I know you will get the hang of it." She leaned down and picked up the sonic herself. "I did!"

"Said the Child of the TARDIS…" the Doctor mumbled under his breath in an almost jealous tone. River admired the way that this regeneration's Scottish accent growled when he was angry.

River turned around the teary-eyed girl and gave her a gentle push back down the steps to the console floor. "Which makes this one _part_ child of the TARDIS, doesn't it?"

"That's what the Doctor keeps telling me as he tries to teach me what all these buttons do!" the girl motioned to the confusing mass of controls on the console. "How did you guys ever learn to fly this thing?"

The Doctor chuckled as he smacked his hand down on a button, "Who me? Learn? No never did."

River had to speak up to be heard over the sound of the squealing breaks, "Doctor! You aren't trying to get Lily to fly this thing again are you? She's too young!"

"Scuse me…"

"Nawwwww I think she's fine! Now watch this! Lily! We've landed. Mind getting the door for your hard working mum?"

Lily's eyes darted around the panels. She ran her fingers inches above the controls, studied the scanner, tapped a meter, reached for a lever…she looked up for reassurance…the Doctor shook his head. Reached for another lever. "Close!" Reached for another one slightly to the…riiii…left! A proud smile splayed across the man's face, showing old and happy wrinkles and lines. Lily pulled it and the doors swung open.

"Nice work! Quite the student you are! See you again next week!"

* * *

"How was your time with the Doctor, today?" River asked her daughter like any parent would ask their child how school was around the dinner table. Like the Doctor said…domestic…They sat in the small flat's dining room, Lily eating a bowl of mac-n-cheese and River alternating between her's and grading coursework.

"Normal."

River scrunched her nose at the way Lily reminded her of her own Mum as a teenager. Amy went through a short phase around that age where she was so very few worded. Mels had to crack the real Amy out of a small shell.

"Learn anything new?"

Lily pushed food around with her fork, "Still can't get anything right…I don't know why you even bother sending me to –"

Their voices overlapped, filling the room with two lines of intersecting chatter.

"It's because you still are part Time Lord and I want you learn…you know… -

"Mum yeah yeah yeah I know."

River slammed her pencil down and struggled to catch the girls gaze, "But you do like it. Don't you Lily? I just…well you know…want you to have a good…father-like figure in your life." River hoped Lily didn't notice the way she choked a little bit on those last words.

She only nodded in response – this wasn't the first time that her mum had gone on this rant. She nodded and nodded. There was a pause in conversation and Lily grabbed her bowl and then her mum's and brought them the few steps to the kitchen sink. She came back and sat back down at the table, placing her head in her hands and day-dreaming out the window. River cracked a smile at her far away gaze. The little girl had always been a day dreamer.

"Once I learn how to fly the TARDIS…I'm gonna go back and meet my dad and show him how great I am and get him to not leave."

River tried not to bite her lip and stop writing for a moment to take in her daughters wistful words. There was so many things that she wanted to say in that moment, some plain, some harsh, some tear-filled, but all that came out was, "That might cause a paradox, love. And that's never ever good."

Lily's gaze remained far away, and River wondered if she was disappointed in her mum's answer…or if she was hardly listening at all. Lily drew in a deep breath and out on a sigh, "Soooo?"

River shoved out a laugh, "You know sometimes, you say things that remind me of the person you're named after." She set her pen back down on the paper and continued to plan out her next lesson on archaeology.

But Lily suddenly jumped back to this realm and her eyes darted to her mum, "I'm named after someone?"

River again struggled to not let her thoughts show in her body language as she drew in a breath. "Did I say that?"

"Yeah!" Lily was excited now. Her words raced, "When I went to school I had a friend named Marilyn and she was named after a movie star and that's cool. Am I named after a movie star, mum? Maybe someone in the past? Or oohhhh the future? Lily what? Lily who? Who is Lily?"

River shook it away with a flick of her hands and struggled to move her curls out of her eyes as she focused extra hard on her writings, though it was getting more and more difficult. "No. No. No one."

"Rose then?"

"Lily, please I'm doing work."

"My middle name Rose is named after someone?"

The moment froze. River had stopped writing again and Lily knew that when her pen stopped moving it meant she was fixing to say something…but fixing very carefully.

Finally, "Yes."

The girl sqeeed with excitement. "Oh who Mum? WHOO?" she ran over and shook her arm.

River was too tired to get irritated, "Just nothing…no one, love."

"A friend of yours?"

"Nono."

"A friend of the Doctor's then."

The conversation came to another halt. Lily knew that her mum had known the Doctor practically her whole life and that anything that wasn't about her was about the Doctor. They had always been best friends, River would tell her. That's why. That's all. River hated that Lily remembered that conversation. Her silence was all the girl needed to get even more excited.

"Yes mum? Yes! Was she a companion of his? That's so exciting! Like you? Like Clara? Where is she now? I want to meet her! I want to know about her!"

"No. Now Lily don't go bothering the Doctor about her. He doesn't like to talk about it."

Lily paused and her shoulders fell a bit in disappointment. When Mum said not to bring up something to the Doctor…that was a big _no_. There was a lot of things that she wasn't supposed to bring up to the Doctor. Yeah…that was a rather long list.

"You tell me then."

River ran her fingers through her poof. "Maybe later darling, I've got coursework to grade. Remind me later, ok?"

Lily sighed heavily and went off to her small bedroom where she sat down and journaled until well past her bed time. Who was Rose? She knew she simply couldn't go on in life without knowing.

* * *

**So I know a bunch of you are there! So drop me a review! Thanks and see you next Saturday :)**


	3. Feb 17th 5199 8:55 pm

**Thanks to ZackAttack96, Jess37810, Lostinthereality, Crixcully Song, Jailyn, and NinjaNovelist for keeping me going! :D**

**And I've fixed the chapter names to hopefully make them a little less confusing (I probably just made them more confusing)**

**Chapter 3 - February 17th 5199 8:55 pm**

* * *

The Doctor was now struck silent for another reason. His finger entwined in the babies small knuckles fell and he took a subconscious step back. His brain was a constant fight of wanting to comfort his wife and…a pale sense of _betrayal _settling in. But…what? River? River? River would never. She would never. She would…suddenly the woman standing in front of him wasn't River anymore and the small sniffs and sobs echoing off the walls weren't hers. They were foreign. They were alien.

"Doctor I…"

"Nonono of course it's not," he choked out. His words made no sense to either of them. He felt his eyebrows pull together and something in the pit of his stomach begin to boil. He felt a stab in his heart.

River chocked at the site of her husband's face growing so white and confused. She didn't mean…no no…she never meant…

"Doctor, please…" She couldn't get anything else out above the ache in her throat. She couldn't take the site of him anymore and instead looked down at the sleeping baby girl. The Doctor disliked how her gaze avoided his own. He felt another sharp pain in his second heart.

Suddenly his back clanked against the bars. His clunky steps had carried him to the edge of the cell. They both stood there for a moment in silence, the only sound the never-ending rain outside of the prison. They both felt so alone and far from each other in that moment. The Doctor's ever-running never-stopping mind had…ceased, like a huge ERROR was written on his forehead. He had no words to say because he couldn't find them facing a Time Lord brain that had simply stopped all activity. No tears. No anger. Just an open jaw where excited words should be…had this baby been his own…

His next step brought him up into the TARDIS. He wanted to leave, he finally decided. Get away. This wasn't his River nonono not _his _River. He needed to find _his _River. TARDIS where had you gone wrong this time?

"Doctor wait!" River's head shot up, her wild curls matting to her moist face. Her expression held so much pain. He stopped in the threshold, the light of the TARDIS splayed over half of his face, giving a hard, unforgiving look to him.

"Don't leave! I…I…I need your help." River stumbled and tripped over words, something she never _ever_ had a problem with before. "It's the baby. It's her. She's she's…well…" she gulped for air. There was never enough air in these kinds of situations. "She's only half Time Lord. Her heart is failing. I don't…no one has any kind of care here please please…" River took a heaving breath in to prevent from falling to her knees. _No be strong. Ever be strong. It's important it's oh so important. _

The Doctor's gaze fell to the little girl's once more. He licked his dry lips and drew in a sharp breath. When it let out it was shaking. He noticed he had been crying. His mind still feeling very far away and disconnected, he reached out his hands. "Give her to me."

River slowly walked over. She felt sick to her stomach as she handed the baby over to the Doctor and his touch was cold and stiff. The contact gave her chills and she suddenly noticed her unbelievable need for a hug.

The Doctor only took the child and walked inside the time machine.

They had made a beeline for the medical room and the Doctor quickly busiest himself with technical mumbo jumbo. River knew he was busying his mind, struggling to get his gears turning again, working his muscles so they didn't spaz into anger and throw things off tables, and focusing his eyes away from tears, away from hurt or sting.

She sat on the small white cushioned bench next to the incubator the child was being attended to in. Seeing red eyes and blank faces hurt like sunlight in the bright white room. River felt so unusually small as she slouched on the bench, trying not to look at anything at all.

"How old is she?"

River jumped like she was awaken from a bad dream. She struggled to wipe her still falling tears and look at the Doctor. He was across the room, fiddling with buttons and levers and looking hard at them like they required unnecessary amounts of attention.

"How old is she?" he repeated. "The TARDIS needs to know for necessary treatment."

"Um…" River searched her aching head as if she wasn't exactly sure. "3 months."

The Doctor punched some things into a keyboard. Couldn't the TARDIS find that out on her own? Why was he asking?

"Tell me about the father," he asked in that same, empty, cold tone. River wasn't sure if this was another question for medical treatment or a genuine question for her.

"I don't…I mean…"

"I _need_ to know River. For _her_ safety."

His icy words made more tears spill down her cheeks. She knew what she had to tell him. "Just…ordinary. Human."

The Doctor punched more things into the keyboard and continued to work with a fixed gaze, neck craned down, and hair covering his eyes.

She knew she had to tell him. "Just one night. Just…one night. I mean. Mind you, Doctor, this is the first time you've come to visit in…" she struggled to swallow her clogged throat. "…over a year. I know…I know…no excuse…I am being pardoned next week and…I found out last Valentines day and it took them over a bloody year to sort all the paper work out...and I knew my time was almost up and I was so happy and…you weren't even there to celebrate with me...He was nice to me. Just a guard. He had nice words and even a flower…I don't see flowers on that planet…too much rain…no sun. He was…nice to me. That's all." Her gaze fell down again. She couldn't take the way he kept on typing like he couldn't even hear her. "I…I imagined it was you. I thought of you the whole time. I wanted it to be you I…"

"Well…River looks like we have a basic half-and-half here," he cut her off, masking pain and confusion with a normal Doctor voice to match his bow-tie and tweed jacket. "Haven't done any tests on you in a while…but I believe…" he took a breath and swung around a scanner for River to look at, though he still wouldn't look at her himself, "that with each regeneration you had you got more and more Time Lordy…that's nice, that's new. That explains why you only had one heart when you were little, able to go to doctor's appointments without causing riots, to _two _hearts now, according to the x-rays I saw at Sisters of the Infinite Schism after Berlin. So we have this little one here with just about 50 percent you, being just about 100 percent Time Lord and 50 human. Scans say her heart is unhealthy due to her confusing conflicting parents so good instincts bringing her here, seeing as I'm the only one who will know exactly what's wrong and how to fix it. And no regeneration for the little one. She has regeneration energy but only a small amount. Not enough to create an entire new body though. For example she could repair minor cuts and bruises herself buuuttt…take her to a hospital for anything else. But not the heart thing. Don't let them help with the heart thing. Anyway, she'll be fine for now, the TARDIS will take good care of her. She'll be healthy. She'll be fine."

The man threw himself down onto another white bench, mirroring River's across the room and rested his brow on his hand, covering his eyes and letting out a sigh. He ran his fingers down his cheeks, wiping the tears that had been falling. He sniffed and finally met gazes with her, causing her to hold her breath.

"What?" was all his threw at her.

"I'm…" River struggled to rub the goose bumps off her arms. "I'm sorry."

The Doctor nodded and bit his lip as his eyes focused on one shiny white tile on the floor.

"I'm…I am. I'm sorry. But you…" she swallowed, her words coming out slowly and broken. "…hadn't come and I was…"

"Lonely?" he spat out, looking at her almost repulsed. As if he didn't know the meaning of _lonely._ As if he had never felt it. As if he didn't think he had maybe finally found someone to stop, to curb, to cap the loneliness in his life. "I was _busy_, River." She hated the way her name sounded like poison on his tongue. "I was out saving planets and lives and beings and there are civilizations still out there right now because I wasn't spending all my days _dancing _with you."

"Excuse me!" She found her blood boiling back. "I am perfectly willing to help you on your big mighty _saving the universe _trips but maybe someone shouldn't complain about being lonely so much when all he seems to do is push everyone he loves away!"

"Do not…" the Doctor growled "tell me I push the people I love away for selfish reasons."

"And what even is cheating in a relationship like ours, Doctor? Hum?" River stood up, tired of feeling small and weak, she never liked it. "We were married in an aborted time line that I'm not even sure is relevant here on a forceful ploy for you to get me to kill you! And don't talk to me about my right to love nobody but you because I know for a _fact_ that you've loved plenty of other women! What else _do _you do when you leave me alone for _years_," she hissed.

"No River. No. Not now. Not while I still have you I just…"

"Who is Rose?"

The air froze.

The Doctor's angry gaze grew soft. His lips barely moved as he asked, "…who told you about her?"

River swallowed back hot mad tears and took a moment to cross her arms and shift her weight. Her curls quivered as she nodded to the ceiling, "The TARDIS."

If the Doctor hadn't been in such a state of shock in that moment, he probably could have sensed that his wife was lying.

He shook his head and struggled to tell himself to breathe again. He nodded and blinked as if he was waking up from a dream.

River uncrossed her arms and dared to walk a few steps closer to the man. "I mean…Doctor. I know you've loved other women." She cracked a smile that almost hurt her burning cheeks. "_Obviously_…I'm not jealous. I'm just…you've told me about all the other women. I mean, _Queen Elizabeth?" _she smiled again and sat next to the Doctor on his white bench. His eyes were still on the floor. "And of course I know about your wife and children and _grandchildren_ on Galli…" _no…not the time to bring that up. _"…but you've never brought up Rose…why?"

She was so close her ringlets tickled his nose. She leaned in closer to him, struggled to catch his low gaze. He got up and walked across the room, arms crossed, eyes still very distant.

"She's in the past."

River took a beat. Then, "Did you love her?"

The words hung in the air and echoed in his ears. He raised his head. Then lowered it. One small nod.

River turned her head away as more tears brimmed. She was telling the truth – she wasn't jealous, it was no surprise that the Doctor had loved other women. But this _Rose…_why was she a secret? What made her so special? What made her so different that the Doctor had to hold her to himself confidentially at such a distance from their relationship? What was so extraordinary about Rose?

River ran her hands up and down her arms again.

The Doctor continued, "She was a companion long ago. She caught me fresh from the Time War. She made me better….who I am today."

River was still crying as she smiled and nodded. She _absolutely adored _who her Doctor was today.

He turned around with a flick of his pointy bangs and sat back down next to River. He leaned his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands. "She was trapped in an alternate universe. I wanted to travel with her forever but…I…she's happy now. That's all that matters."

River wiped her tears and leaned her head against her Doctor's ridged boney curved back. He raised an arm and wrapped it roughly around River's shoulders. And they both sat there in that very difficult cuddling position, both excepting the awkwardness and the discomfort as part of the situation.

It was silent. Suddenly the two were very aware that the only sound in the room was the infant's heart-monitor making soft, even beats.

River drew in a breath, "Lily Rose."

Oh-so quiet. "What?"

"Can we…if we were…to pretend for a moment that she…that Lily _was_ yours. Let's do it. Let's call her Lily Rose."

The Doctor didn't nod. He didn't agree in any visible or verbal way. But River could sense the consent in him.

"Will you tell me more about her?"

"I don't want to talk about it, River," he finished bitterly, untangling himself from her and rushing past her and out the door. River was left alone in the cold room with the baby.

* * *

**Thanks for sticking around and sorry the update was late this week!**

**Leave me a review! I do find them rather encouraging :)**


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